Forgiveness is one of the aspects in life that basically everyone I know, certainly including myself, fail miserably at. We have made up our own rules about forgiveness and set our own terms, without even thinking about what the Bible has to say about it. For a quick glimpse at what the Bible has to say about forgiveness, check out the verses Luke 17: 3-4.
(NIV) - “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times he comes back to you and says ‘I repent’, forgive him.”
This is a verse that can simply be summed up as, if someone wrongs you, and asks you to forgive him, your job as a Christ-follower is to forgive him for that.
However, with these verses have specifics that need to be taken into consideration. One word you see popping up in these two verses a few times is “if”. This word is not to be discarded, but to be noticed and studied.
“IF your brother sins...IF he repents...IF he sins against you seven times...”
When I study the meaning behind these “ifs” it leads me to the conclusion that forgiveness does not come to those who do not ask for it, and do not long for it. But forgiveness does come to those who ask for it and long for it. Easy enough right?
The easiest way that we can understand this is by examining our relationship with God.
Bottom line, we all sin.
(NIV) Romans 3:23 - “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God,”
That’s a verse most of us have always heard, and all of us have fulfilled. Notice that the verse ends with a comma, leading into the next verse, which isn’t nearly heard as often as the latter.
(NIV) Romans 3:24 - “and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Awesome right? Yes, but sometimes we don’t see it like it really is. Going back to the Bible, we see exactly how God works.
(NIV) 1 John 1:9 - “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
There is that word again, “if”. IF we confess our sins...” There is definitely a purpose to this word. So we realize that we all sin, and are redeemed through Christ Jesus, but the Bible clearly states that without this confession, or this sense of wrongdoing, there isn’t purification.
This is where I think most of us fail, and where we take advantage of these rules. Sometimes we sin, and say those three little words, “I’m sorry God.” IF the words are there but the heart behind them isn’t, this is not confession. Confession is knowing what you did wrong and feeling regret and remorse for that sin. This is where true forgiveness lies.
God works that way every single time, no matter how many times we mess up, He forgives. But there is more to learn about God’s forgiveness.
Let’s look at one more set of verses.
(NIV) Matthew 6: 14-15 - “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Those “if’s” just keep popping up everywhere. Once again, because they’re very important.
“IF you forgive men...IF you do not forgive men...”
There isn’t a choice there. IF someone asks for forgiveness from you, it’s your responsibility to forgive them. This is complete forgiveness too, not just a “I have to forgive you because I’m supposed to. My personal belief behind forgiveness and the importance of understanding it is this...
#1 - People are guaranteed to fail you. You cannot go through life expecting to have perfect friends that never upset you or make you angry.
#2 - An act of forgiveness is like the golden rule. IF you want others to forgive you when you do wrong, you must also forgive them when they ask.
I always try to put myself in the other person’s shoes. I imagine “What if I was that person right now?” I know that when I do something wrong to someone else, I would give anything to erase it. I try to use this mindset whenever someone does wrong to me and I know that they are sorry.
Some of the best examples of forgiveness come at the most unexpected times in the Bible. Two instances of this would be...
(NIV) Luke 23:34 - “Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing’."
As Christ was being crucified and tortured on the cross, he calls out to his Father and asks for them to be forgiven. This is Jesus saying “I forgive you” to the people who are doing wrong to him.
(NIV) Acts 7:60 - “Then he fell on his knees and cried out, ‘Lord, do not hold this sin against them’.”
This was Stephen’s prayer to God as he was about to be stoned for calling Jesus the Son of God. This is Stephen saying “I forgive you” to the people who are doing wrong to him.
As Christians, our main goal in life is to be like our Father. So how many of us forgive like this? How many of us don’t hold grudges? How many of us say “I forgive you,” and keep hatred in our hearts towards the person who did you wrong?
My encouragement to all who are trying to lead better lives and even encouragement for myself is to let go of the things that people have done wrong to you. Talk it out and work it out with those people, especially if they are brothers and sisters in Christ.
(NIV) Ephesians 4:26 “...do not let the sun go down while you are still angry...”
You may find out that they are truly sorry for whatever they did but are too scared to approach you and ask for forgiveness because of the reaction that they might receive from you. You may even find out that they weren’t aware of the pain they have caused you, which in that case you can work it out now that they know. Always keep an open mind and open heart, listen before you speak, and let Christ be the true example of how you live every single day.
